Yuh Know, I had recieved so many requests to put out some more of these frivolous bits of knowledge, that I decided to do some more research into some of the less than normal, but part of our everyday live's experiences. Aaaaand without furter ado, Here they are :
PLAIN OLD STUFF :
Scissors are at their sharpest where the fingers are holding the paper.
All bleeding stops .. eventually.
If it is seemingly inane, but it works, then it isn't inane.
Jazzsoda has a Blog on his HCC site that anyone can submit things to.
When you don't have much work to do, all of your co-workers will be busy.
If you keep anything long enough, you can throw it away. If you throw it away, you will need it the next day.
MUSIC MAYHEM :
At least one cell phone will ring during any rehearsal.
At least two cell phones will ring during the concert, after the conductor had given explicit instructions to turn them off.
Drummers lose their drumsticks, and claim someone took them, but find them the next day after the concert.
Musical instruments are easier to break, than fix.
Anything will work if you fiddle with it long enough.
The drum major is always the best coronet player.
When you jam with your rock n roll band, the police will show up at least twice. The first time to warn you to turn the music down, the second time to see if there are any wanted persons in your band.
Every rock beat and note, has their origins in classical music.
MYSTERIES OF THE PAST :
Fossilized, and petrified dinosaur skulls and bones, have been found, that have seemingly .30 caliber like bullet holes in them. Scientists upon examining them, found that the holes exactly match the caliber, and the small hole going in. Then there is a larger hole going out on the other side of the "Bullet Hole", just like a bullet would do to living flesh and bone.
Oxford like shoe prints have been found in coal, which takes millions of years to form.
In deserts all over the world, when it rains, sea creatures like horseshoe crabs, eels, small mussels, and a variety of underwater flora and fauna florish, for a brief time. Many Millions of years ago, while these deserts were a part of the world's oceans, Trillions of the eggs from some of the creatures were sealed in an airtight carbonaceous layer by underwater volcanic activity for millions of years. When erosion finally exposes these eggs, the sand of the deserts that were once oceans, are brackish, or salty, and these eggs which have been exposed to the elements, are in pools created by monsoon rains. The conditions are like that of a nursery for them, the pools form 'tidal pools', and they hatch out just like a newborn baby horseshoe crab. Any desert that used to be an ocean contains the eggs of all sorts of creatures and has the same thing occur in them, some creatures that hatch out, we've probably not encountered in our times as humans on this earth.
In the Desert, if it looks like it will cut, sting, or bite you, it probably will. Even if it doesn't look that way, it probably will.
Many strange devices have been found in ancient shipwrecks, devices that should not have been there because of their advanced technology. These devices seem to dissapear on a regular basis after their discovery. An Archie comic book was discovered in an ancient tomb in Iraq, a tomb that hadn't been plundered. This is on a You Tube video called 'out of place artifacts'.
Jazzsoda put up a blog for all of us to submit things.
The Pyramid area layout, with the sphinx and the rest of the egyptian necropolis, matches exactly the layout of the assumed city "Cydonia" on mars, including the face on mars which is next to the city, that dominates the area. According to scientists who study anomalies such as this say that the similarity of the earth's pyramid necropolis, and cydonia are so close, you could lay the map of one over the other and there would be little deviation in line sight and placement of the monuments of either place.
LOTTERY LORE :
You finally hit it big, and then you meet all kinds of relatives you never knew you had, all kinds of charitible organizations will not leave you alone, people will try to sue you for the littlest thing. It will cost you a small fortune to change your name, move, and remain anonymous.
The Taxman is Licking His Chops, waiting for you to win.
Everytime you buy a lottery ticket from one of those automated machines, your picture is probably taken, and, if it is one of those touch screen machines where you choose what you want, by putting your exposed bare fintertip onto the screen to choose, your fingerprints are probably taken too. Use your knuckles, or a fake finger.
It says in the bible that "Those that have plenty, will recieve even more", and usually it is someone who is already rich that wins.
It says in many eastern philosophies that to have everything, you must first give everything away.
The first thing that you need to do when you find that you have won the lottery, is to tell no one, find a lawyer with the morals of a tomcat, and proceed from there.
KARATE AND OTHER FOREIGN DELIGHTS :
The sensei will use only you for the most painful techniques when explaining them to the class.
If you have to use your martial art in self defense, make sure you get a bruise or two out of the melee', because your attacker no doubt has a lawyer whom he has had to use in such cases where he was the one trashed, and claimed to be the victim.
The better you know your training partner, the more likely it is you will get hurt by them.
When you atain a black belt, you are a weapon, and like any weapon, it is bound to malfunction sometimes, especially when the granny lady kicks your ass in front of the whole martial arts school because you accidently stepped on her small dog.
Earning a black belt is a great honor, and takes many hours of study, practice, endurance, and tests to achieve, but it does not make you a superman. Once you have attained the black belt, you then begin to learn what the martial arts are about, the fighting part is just the kindergarten level.
One important rule, is to find out if the hot chick in class is in anyway related to the sensei before you bust a move on her.
When dining with your sensei, and his superiors, strict rules apply for dining etiquette. Never ask what the food is when you are in a foriegn restaurant, even if one of the bits of food resembles an Octopusses anus. Only eat after they have started eating, and finish your meal just before they finish theirs. If they lift their plates off of the table to eat, do not lift yours, you are expected to lean forward to eat, this is like bowing to them as you eat.
HOME FIXIN AND ALL KINDS OF STUFF :
If you have a hammer, and enough grease, you can make whatever you're working with, fit anywhere.
A monitor screen will blow first to protect a fifty cent fuse.
If you drop an unbreakable object, it will land on something breakable.
Alarm clocks are responsible for many household injuries.
If you spend enough time and money, all of the behavior of people around you can be explained.
When you think you have seen the pinnacle of stupidity, someone comes along and amazes you even more.
When someone pisses you off, it takes forty two muscles to frown, but only fifteen to hit them upside the head with whatever you can lay your hands on.
As you get older, it seems like the day goes so fast. You get up, turn around twice, use the bathroom, eat dinner, and the day is over. But, there is always time for a beer.
If everyone in the world were to sit down, and have a beer and think things over, they'd want another beer, and so on. Peace at last?
THE CODA :
As always, I make no claim to the truth, or authorship of any of these vignettes. I merely pass them on from different sources that I have read from, watched on tv, and heard of from people and the radio. Something to read when there is absolutely nothing else that interests a person. These were some of my newer favorite ones that I hope brings a chuckle or a smirk, or a sense of wonderment to all who read them.
There are so many things of interest, that to cover all of them, would take eternity, or pretty close. So choose the ones that you like the best, maybe even submit something on Jazz's blog site.
Have Fun.
KIP
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