Get to Know: TheKari

I am The Kari (a.k.a K, TheK, Karinette, TheKarinet, KariFred, KFred, Kaririah Smith, etc etc). I grew up in a small town in Connecticut, the second youngest in a family of 8. Although I did not watch MST3K as a child (I would have been in elementary/middle school when it was on the air), as I watch it now I vaguely remember seeing some host segments in my youth.  Mostly, we did not have cable, so I watched UPN, WB, FOX, PBS and all the other free TV channels. The Simpsons and The Muppet Show were among the frequently watched programs in my house, but so were Martin and Hangin' with Mr. Cooper, so you can imagine my frustration.

Anywho, I believe the root of my humor lies with these three facts: A) I LOVED to mimic things as a child, and thus spent a lot of time "doing funny voices/impressions/quotes", 2) I had 4 older siblings with very dark and dirty minds, and iii) I have enjoyed the pleasures of insomnia for as long as I can remember, meaning I watched a whole lot of late-night TV and infomercials. Needless to say, I'm a little screwed up. Luckily for me, capping was introduced into my life, making it ok to be clinically insane and still live in what some might call the "normal" world. Let me regale you with the story of how *this* capper was born:

It all began in late June 2008.  I decided that my brother's/parent's trip to Bermuda for a week without me was the perfect excuse to hold a week-long party for all.

So... I got a little ballsy and started inviting anyone who wanted to spend any length of time with me to come to my house and celebrate "Jamaica Week" (right now you're probably wondering what the hell this has to do with me being a capper, and why I am taking away precious capping time with this garbage, but please trust me... all in good time). Anywho, it was silly, and maybe a bit dangerous, but what did I care, right?  I was going to have the best time of my life!! Well, little did I know that the "best time of my life" was actually going to be the best time of my life, all because a man by the name of Zachariah Smith contacted me and changed my life forever (in the words of Saul from Coming to America: AH-JHA!!).  As I was making plans and preparations for what was meant to be a rowdy week of mayhem, debauchery and basically the opposite of a long-term relationship, I got a message on OkCupid from the capper known as Zee, simply commenting on how awesome he thought I was for enjoying the pleasures of the peace pipe.

I thought it was super cute, not to mention the fact that he was super cute (and still is), so I decided to go out on a limb and invite him over for the festivities. Being clinically insane himself, Zee of course obliged and visited me on July 2nd.

What was supposed to be a party among friends quickly turned into our first date, as no one but Zee and myself showed up that day.  Now... what would any insane capper do when encountered by a beautiful woman he would like to stick his penis into? Why, play her Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone with the Rifftrax of course! And to his shock and amazement, I absolutely loved it and begged for more!

After several movies with Rifftrax, and many hours watching Zee on HCC and CPB, I decided to take the deadly plunge into the frozen waters of the capping world, and I must say it was a little chilly at first. December 21st was the first day of my first caption on my first captioning site, and I haven't turned back since. I am now at 1695 captions, coincidentally the same number as the year Henry Purcell died (he was also born in 1659 - aren't numbers fun?), and I can't believe I have come this far! I never thought I would be able to caption well, nor did I think that anyone would find me particularly funny, nevermind engage me in the amazing conversations I have had with all of you fantastic cappers! I have met so many different people from so many walks of life and so many different levels of insanity, and I must say: when I was looking to have the best time of my life, I never would have dreamed it would be this awesome!!!

Alright, now that I have sufficiently kissed everyone's ass, on with the bio!!! (It's not getting any shorter folks... unless Jazz decided to edit it down... kinda hoping he does...)

Jazzsoda's Note: No dice. You're getting pure, unfiltered Kari here, folks! Deal with it suckas.

So, I failed to mention one of the most important aspects of my life: CLARINET!

I am absolutely in love with the clarinet.  If someone asked me if there was anything I love more than clarinet, my answer would be Zachariah Smith. If my clarinet were sentient, I'd make sweet, delicious and passionate love to it.  You could say I already do, since I blow it several times a day for several hours and make it scream constantly.  But enough about that...  Although I love the clarinet oh so much, it was not my first instrument.  I started as a violinist/violist.  I later switched to clarinet and quit, switched to flute and stuck with that for a long long time.  I then picked up the sax, and started teaching private lessons on a handful of instruments.  It wasn't until I auditioned for and was rejected by the UMass flute studio 3 times that I decided it was time to pack it in. I took the advice of my Symphony Band conductor and auditioned on clarinet.

My clarinet teacher didn't particularly like me, I think it mostly had to do with the fact that I played Tuba in the Marching Band and he hated the marching band, but he really wanted to have a larger studio, so he took me under his wing.  After a year and a half of him telling horribly long stories of his life in the Bronx while subsequently not teaching me anything about the clarinet, I realized that UMass was too expensive for that crap and decided to transfer to a school that was far less expensive, and thus far easier for me to tolerate any bullshit that was thrown my way.  It was there that I met my current amazingly awesome clarinet teacher who showed me the ways of the force and turned me into the YouTube sensation that I am today... (by the way, if you haven't yet heard my YouTube audios, you probably should, just sayin - they're better than Rebecca Black, Justin Bieber and Chocolate Rain all in one!).

"7 YEARS LATER... TheKari finally graduated college!! (well... not 7 years after I got to WCSU, 7 years after... aw hell, I was just referencing my latest capping craze - my "7 YEARS LATER" is like Zee's "Larry Faber").  I now have a degree in music, have many ideas for what I want to do with my life, and intend to keep on capping for as long as the insanity allows.  BOOM!!!!

- TheK