Also many Thanks to Jazz for continuing to keep HCC alive and thriving for our much needed cyber therapy, and enjoyment, and blowing off steam, and avenging ourselves fully with making fun of those things that are supposed to matter according to broadcast propaganda, but say look into these eyes and see if there’s anyone in there who gives a shit.
Civil War Oregon
Whether it is little known, or taught now in schools is up to the reader to discern for themselves, however, there was a large contingent of Civil War encampments and forts in Oregon, and the West Coast during the Civil War.
Pictured above is a small cannonball a little larger than a golf ball, which fell out of an old, mostly rotted stump on our property. I did some research, and found out that it is most likely from a ‘swivel gun’ used by the Navy at that time. A swivel gun was used mainly on ships at sea to repel boarders, and they shot a small anti-personnel device as seen above that was hollow and filled with an explosive powder, probably black powder or fulminate of mercury. On top of it was a ‘fuse nipple’ that had a short rope or dynamite cord fuse in it, and when the swivel gun fired it, it not only shot the ball out of the cannon, but ignited the fuse which burned for a few seconds until the fire hit the contained explosive. The cannonball would then explode like a grenade and throw shrapnel all over the place, either wounding or killing whomever it was fired at.
There were some battles between the Army, and the Native Americans in this area during that time, and I’m thinking, that this ball might have been shot in a battle by the Army who used light Naval weapons for their armament, a precursor to the modern mortars. Plus, the Army also used many small arms that were produced by and for the Navy at that time.
There were quite a few Union forts along the West Coast during the Civil war, and a lot of them had what were called ‘coastal disappearing guns’. These huge cannons that were distributed up and down the West Coast, were situated in deep pits concealing the gun, and the gun itself was mounted on a giant spring loaded carriage, which would pop the gun up over the edge of the pit, and then it fired, and then dropped back down into the pit for reloading. The range of these guns was around 3-5 miles, and shot a cannonball of about 5 inches in diameter. These guns were installed in the forts in case the Confederate Navy decided to attack settlements and forts along the West Coast, but not one of these guns was used in any kind of battle for the Coast, and they were soon dismantled after the Civil war, and sold to other countries where wars were starting. There are a lot of pictures in History books, and stories about them on the internet.
One Civil war town which is now pretty well gone, but a few buildings still remain, is ‘Aurora Oregon’. They had a big band made up of soldiers who were musicians, and they played instruments that now either do not exist, or have changed slightly over the years into modern instruments. Writing ink was at a premium in those days, so blackberry juice was used to write their music onto sheets. There are some examples to be seen and read about on the internet. Blackberry music of Oregon is a key phrase to search, should you be curious to read about it.
From our friend, Upsky2:
I have an idea: it has been asked, "If the universe is full of life, some of it is 'intelligent life' surely. So... why don't we know of any other intelligent life?"
Various proposals: we're a protected reserve. Everyone's too far away.
My idea is simple: "intelligent" alien life is out there. And a lot of them even know about 'us' - the way you and I know who Jose Rizal was... or at least he's in our encyclopedias, even if we don't quite remember what he did, aside from that he was important in the history of... well, I remember what nation, but I retain a lot of information in my memory.
- But (back to All Those Aliens Out There): they have heard broadcasts and TV programs. From 'I Love Lucy' to documentaries about World War II and civil rights, they have information about us. And, they won't visit us or touch us on those terms.
Simply, we're living in a Dark Age, as evinced by inherent unconscious qualities in even our fantasies and fictions. And they don't want anything to do with a Dark Age, anymore than you or I want to visit e.g. England during the Matilda-and-Stephen period known as The Anarchy. Very unsafe time, you know, and the people don't speak our language, and their politics is in a hostile muddle, and war is rife in the land, and everyone's pretty dirty and have/spread deadly diseases like Plague etc. etc.
...aside from the chance of catching a really bad case of lice - both species!
Wanna pay them a visit? how about from benevolent motives, they're unfortunate but they could be Done Good?
How? I don't see that. Neither your resources-to-spare nor mine, would suffice to do any Real Good to a hopeless Dark Age scenario like that. The good that could be done would be minimal, and the risk and perhaps the cost would be too great, for the yield in terms of Good Done.
So, in short: we're evidently in a Dark Age. Pretty hopelessly messed up. And though they are capable of traveling between the stars (immense distances that our technology can imagine traveling, the way Lucian in 200 A.D. or so could imagine traveling to the Moon... but which we just can't do, yet... in less than 100,000 years, you know...)... though Superior as heck, and very able, they aren't capable of curing Dark Ages. Or, have a clear grasp of historical dynamics and know they can do a Dark Age no good.
(Not that I'm saying that a Dark Age can be done no good, with immense resources devoted to the task. But, to The Aliens Out There, it may be that their opinion, informed howsoever, just plain differs from mine on that matter.)
So that's why we don't know of any "Intelligent Life" among the stars.
Perhaps even extending to communication-at-a-distance, stymying the Project OZMA and SETI endeavors... maybe even talking to a Dark Age at a distance is unprofitable and uninteresting to do... or worse. Would you like to discuss anything with Robert Rufus, 1st Earl of Gloucester ? supposing, you know, that his role in his history is utterly foreign to you? and you aren't a historian intensely interested in an inside scoop on Matilda's side of the chronic conflict (even supposing that talking to him, as an alien stranger, would yield any valuable, confidential, information! he was a military commander and wouldn't give away valuable secrets I doubt...)
Me, I find intelligent life on most ponds. :) Not too brilliant, but not living in a Dark Age, for sure. More like a Duck Age. Yuk.
Spy vs Technology
From from our friend, keogh:
My all-time favorite World War II story regards the BBC and it says all you ever needed to know about the British and their celebrated resolve. When the bombings began, the head of the BBC realized enemy planes could zero in using the television signal, thus making the Blitz more effective. Without being told to do so by the government or any other agency, he ordered the signal to the antennae shut down. The system cut out in the middle of a Mickey Mouse cartoon and remained off for the duration of the war.
Years later, when the conflict ended and it was safe to do so, the signal was turned back on. The BBC resumed operations by showing the second half of the Mickey Mouse cartoon.
Also during that time of restricted broadcasts, it was found out that the Germans were using other frequencies to home in on cities and airbases due to that a lot of their bombing runs were done at night. Not only did England, and America have rudimentary television, so did the Germans. Televisions were owned by a few well to do people, and some bars, and public houses had them too, and usually the television broadcasts were in the evening just when it was convenient for the bombers to make their runs.
So, the defense ministry of England started to make false broadcasts from cow pastures to lure bombers away from the big cities, and went as far as positioning many carbide lights in rectangular patterns in the fields to make it seems like a city was beneath them. This same tactic was used in Germany, and although both sides took a terrible pounding from each other, a lot of lives were saved by this diversionary measure. Radio beams used by both sides were used to guide their bombers to their target, and false signals were used to divert the bombers, sometimes causing them to crash into the ocean, or mountain ranges. Full scale mock ups of known factories and airbases were used for daylight diversions along with the false broadcasting signals to guide bombers away from the real thing. This again saved many lives on both sides.
-keogh
This one was sent in by Anonymous:
Spies were everywhere in World War 2. You might never be sure that the person next to you might be an enemy agent from another country.
This one story has to do with the sabotaging of German submarines, known better as U-boats. A lot of U-boats were sunk on the surface because of their diesel engines breaking down in the middle of the ocean. How this happened was that allied spies infiltrated the highly secretive U-boat service and actually either went aboard the submarine as a crew member, or worked as a shore crewman, and sabotaged the boats engines by adding sugar, or some other substance to the fuel oil that ran the engines. So, when the submarine had been out to sea for a few days or weeks, the engines malfunctioned, and the submarine could not recharge it’s batteries to dive and was stuck on the surface, which made it fair game for submarine hunter / killer groups.
These are some spy gadgets I have read about:
A set of false teeth that contained a powerful radio transmitter that when the bottom set was immersed in water powered the transmitter and the spy spoke into the upper plate to convey his message.
German scientists invented a gun that could shoot around corners.
A shoe that could fire .22 caliber bullets.
Battery powered remote controlled ‘Fake’ birds that had microphones which could pick up conversations as it flew over the enemy.
Infrared goggles which were top secret at the time, allowed spies to travel in the dark so they could be undetected on their missions.
And, all sorts of everyday items which appeared as what they were supposed to be, but could be turned into bombs, cameras, two way radios, guns, knives, and whatever the imagination of the inventors of that time could come up with for the need of a mission. We can only imagine what “James Bond” has now in this day and age.
Amorosa on Being in the Eye of a Hurricane
Hi everybody! After a little prompting, I’ve finally decided to contribute a news item for KIPPAGE’s Fun Facts and Useless Information #16. (Did he actually do that many???) Sometimes it seems that being in the eye of a hurricane is a metaphor for much of my life, but I actually had this experience. Maybe I had this experience as a model for how I should be. Calm in the center of the storm. But let me tell you about it, because it was simply amazing.
I was living in the tropics. A hurricane was coming. A gentle and abundant warm tropical rain had started to fall. I applied fertilizer to my bushes in shorts and a tank top. Everyone in our little town got busy and tied down all loose things. We shuttered our windows. The shutters were wooden and we had to take care to balance their-not-inconsiderable weight with having the wind pluck us off the ground, using the shutter for lift, like an airplane wing. We drew water from the tap and saved it, in case the power went off and the water pressure went down. We got candles, and camping kitchen gear and lanterns on the ready. We parked our vehicles on the lee side of the house.
The wind speeds increased. The rain increased and started to pelt down.
The lights dimmed.
The wind howled even louder and we could peek at the storm through the hand holes in the shutters.
The lights went out. It was light outside, but inside natural light was completely blocked out by the shutters.
The local wind station broke at a wind speed of 130 miles per hour.
The wind howled more loudly.
And then silence. Abruptly, there was absolute quiet.
I ran outside. No rain. No wind. Amazingly there was blue sky above and in all directions you could see a wall of grey clouds.
There were flocks and flocks of galas and cockatiels.
To be in the eye of a hurricane, where all is calm, and there are flocks and flocks of beautiful birds, calms the soul for a lifetime. To be in the calm, and not in the storm, to even be at the center of the storm and in the calm is such a great way to be, even in the most tumultuous times of our lives is the best way to face life’s challenges.
But, alas, the other side of the hurricane hit us abruptly! Wham. 130+ mph winds hit us from the opposite direction!
Hindsight is good. We should have moved the vehicle to the other side of the house!
- ❤Amorosa❤
Christmas Cut Ups
An older friend of mine liked his liquor so much; he celebrated Christmas all year long. One Christmas Eve many years ago, he and his wife hosted a party at their house. They had their living room decorated up to the hilt in Christmas regalia. This older friend was already bouncing off the walls from a good amount of applejack by the time I arrived at their home. In fact, I had no sooner walked into their house, and he got up to greet me, and started staggering toward the lighted tree, which was located by their front door. He grabbed onto the tree and started to dance with it seemingly, or just because it was the handiest thing to latch onto before he fell down.
He and the tree headed towards the door, and his wife who was standing by the door, and was feeling pretty good herself, opened the door, and he and the tree went out onto the porch dragging several presents with it, and over the railing he went, tree and all, into 3 feet of snow. The extension cord was a long one that lit the lights, and he and the tree lit up the snow. How he didn’t get electrocuted is beyond my understanding. Flopping into the snow seemed to sober him up, and he said he needed another drink to kill the pain. Uh … Yeah. We had a great party afterwards.
I was told this one by a friend of a friend:
Two guys were putting up lights around a house on hooks under the overhang of the roof, or under eave, which had been installed quite a few years before, one guy holding the ladder, the other doing the hanging. They got one set of lights almost hung, and the next to the last hook was in sight. The guy doing the hanging put the light string onto the hook, and a big piece of the plywood came loose and dumped a nest of sleeping wasps onto the guy holding the ladder. Apparently the wasps had weakened that part of the under eave by their nest building, and caused dry rot, and down came the walls of Jericho onto the head of the ladder holder. Down the street the unfortunate ladder holder went brushing off wasps, and shedding his clothes, until finally he was without apparel. Luckily, the weather was cold, and the wasps were more or less hibernating, and he did not get stung once. Several neighbors got a good show though.
SANTA CLAWS.
Cats are fascinated by all things Christmas. Cats are fascinated by just about anything, especially the sound of a can opener. One Christmas we had a Christmas day meal and party at our house when I was a kid. I had an Aunt and Uncle who were a barrel full of monkeys, especially my Uncle, who, if he saw an opportunity for fun, he took it. We had two half grown cats, who were just enamored by the Christmas tree, and did their best to defrock it thinking the decorations were toys … “After all, if you cant eat it, or take a nap on it, then it must be a toy” (Cat Logic).
So, that Christmas day, when we were all in my parent’s living room getting ready to open presents, the two cats were in there too, watching us intently in case anyone would offer them a piece of the Turkey they could smell being roasted in the oven. The two cats were sitting next to my uncle, on the couch. They on the floor. My mom started to open one of her presents, and the sound of paper tearing kind of scared the cats. My uncle then made a “Rowrr Fssss” sound and stamped his feet, the cats unwound and there wasn’t a present left unwrapped by the time they made it through the Christmas tree and presents, getting the Hell out of there before they were had by some monster. Pieces and parts of presents flew in every direction. None of us could stop laughing for a long while. They did come back some time later for their tithing of the turkey.
A NINJA CHRISTMAS.
A friend of mine told me about a friend of his who was really into the martial arts and collected all kinds of martial art weapons. His mom collected all kinds of glass art work.. Stop me if you know where this is going …
His mom had their home all decorated in Christmas glass art for the holidays, and for Christmas, as I was told, he received several martial art weapons, and a weight set. He was given a set of nunchakus, two round hard pieces of wood connected by a chain or rope, who hasn’t see a Bruce Lee movie? The first thing he did was to try them out inside, and cleaned off a good amount of the Christmas glassware on top of their television. His stepdad decided to have a weight lifting contest with him after they had cleaned the mess up. They got up to 100 pounds over the head. His step dad was a short guy and got off balance and started to fall backwards once he got the weights over his head. He let go of the weights and put them through a multi-framed floor to ceiling window, and as my friend went to catch him, they fell together and knocked over the wood stove right next to the window. As I understood, they had not been drinking at all.
PARANOIA FROM A CHILD’S VIEW.
One Christmas season, I had gone to the local mall for gift shopping, and happened to go by where the kid’s were sitting on Santa’s lap. What a show, some screamed at the top of their lungs, other’s did their best to get off his lap, and out of dodge before Santa ate them. Santa’s beard ended up on the floor, along with Santa’s hat, which only made the kids freak out more. This one little girl, however had it all in a nutshell … When it was her turn to go up on the throne, she refused, and Santa said “Well, little girl, don’t you want to come up and sit on my lap and tell me what you want for Christmas?” .. To which the little girl probably around 3 or 4 years old, replied in a loud voice, “I’m not coming near you, You Old Bastard!!!” .. Santa was not amused.
These numbers are just a general rounded off generic set, per person, and actual figures could differ slightly, maybe a lot. The worldwide part below is more generic, but gives a good idea of how much money actually goes through one’s hands.
They spend $42,000 on food.
$9,800 on junk food.
$11,200 on fast food.
$97,000 on transportation. (This includes cars, bus trips, plane rides, train commutes, boat trips, and other modes of getting there from here).
Smokers spend 25% of their income on nicotine, and related products.
Light drinkers spend $300 per year on their favorite imbibe, while hard drinkers spend at least 10% of their income on their choice of snakebite medicine.
$200,000 average on housing, or living indoors.
$57,000 on clothing, including shoes.
$70,000 on insurance of different types.
$60,000 on electricity.
Worldwide, including everyone (almost):
7 Billion dollars are spent worldwide per year on pets.
9 Billion per year worldwide on all forms of recreation.
12 Billion per year spent on all the major holidays.
The actual count of things would probably never be realized due to the changing ways of the world and what people can afford, and what is available.
CHRISTMAS TALL TALE
Grab a beer, hot cocoa, shot of snakebite medicine (Liquor), or whatever you care to imbibe and gather ‘round the fireplace for another Christmas story of the sordid past.
I have heard several versions of this story, and I am going to relate the one I like the best, I am writing this after all. My apologies to any author who may chance upon this version if it derails their story. There are many similar to this one out there, and I was told this version by my dear departed uncle who was in France, and Italy, and Germany during world war two. I will leave out names, and places and just give the general area of where this took place.
It was Christmas Eve, and a woman who had lost her husband in the war, was sitting in her farmhouse near deep woods in France with her daughter and son. They had prepared a huge meal for at least 30 people, who were going to come over for a Christmas party, however a battle was raging between two small groups of American, and German soldiers not far into the forest from their farm. All of the local people who were going to attend the party knew better than to venture out during a battle, and remained in their homes. The battle went on and on. Guns, machine guns, and explosions rent the air with their noise. The battle had been going on since early that morning, with no indication that it was going to let up.
This woman and her children decided to see if they could bring peace onto the land, and tied a white blanket to a pole, and walked towards the woods with it waving it like a surrender flag. Apparently both sides saw her, and stopped shooting. She was fluent in English, German, and French, and yelled at them in all three languages to stop, it was Christmas Eve, and she had a huge meal made, enough for all of them, if they would cease hostilities for a few hours, and have a meal with her family. After a few minutes a voice in German asked her several questions, an American voice asked what they were talking about. She translated for both sides until it was agreed that both sides would march up to her barn, lay their weapons down, and come into her farmhouse for a meal and to warm up, as it was very cold and snowy.
Out of the woods came ten Germans marching single file with their guns pointed at the ground, then twelve Americans did the same. They all went into the barn and deposited their rifles, and other weapons on bales of hay. And then they all went into the farmhouse. A long table had been set up with large dishes of holiday food, turkey, ham, sweet potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, rice pudding, and pumpkin pie. The Germans all sat on one side of the table, and the Americans on the other, eyeing each other warily. The woman had them all start singing Christmas songs in their own languages, a mixture of the two groups singing made the farmhouse vibrate with a feeling of home, happiness, and goodwill.
Then, after a prayer of thanksgiving, the food was ready to eat. Both Americans, and the Germans dug in with fervor, having only had canned rations to eat for the last month. Wine was served all around, and soon laughter, and broken jokes were told, more wine, and soon, everyone was feeling satiated. One by one, the Germans started to pass out and fall asleep at the table much to the American’s wonder, and amusement, …. The woman who had invited them all in, then identified herself as an agent for the Allies, and admitted to drugging the German’s wine with a sleeping potion. The Americans sent a runner to their battalion commander, who sent a small force to collect the German prisoners, and they were shipped off to a prison camp somewhere in England, and survived the war.
As always I make this disclaimer that all of the above True stories submitted by Amorosa, Keogh, and UpSky2 are just that. However all of the rest of the Lies, Farces, Imaginative whims, are not to be considered canon, and are submitted purely for entertainment values, there are no monies, payments, and / or credits Earthwise, or Universal made from these FFUI installments .. Dang it.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND THE BEST FOR 2016 FROM KIPPAGE AND AMOROSA.
Swell ! And boy is it long, too, I'm not even half-way through it yet.
ReplyDeleteThanks for putting my stand-out contribution / shaggy-alien story in first place practically!
Cheers and good wishes.
I just re-read some of that set of tales and stories. I had even forgotten my own, though it sounds like my writing :)
ReplyDeleteIt was a good thing for KIPPAGE to get together and contribute to HCC's Blogden.
Another one someday? maybe?