KIPPAGE: Fun Facts and Useless Information 9: We’re Still Here!

THE WORLD AS WE (DON’T) KNOW IT:
We have explored about as much of space as we have of this planet, seventy five percent of the Earth to this day is unknown to us, and yet we have fought wars over it for centuries untold.

Every so often an ‘OOPA” or ‘Out of place artifact’ is found, made seemingly by technology that should not have been present at the time it was carbon dated to.



The Crystal Skulls: Perfect, to almost perfect replicas of a human skull, polished to a high degree, made from quartz crystal, have been found in pre-Columbian tombs in south America, and other places on Earth. There is much controversy as to whether they are fakes, or real. Carbon dating has shown them to be thousands of years old. Carbon dating however can be manipulated by those who know their chemistry before planting an ‘Artifact to be found’. It is estimated by some scientists that there have been several super civilizations on this planet before us, with technology greater than what we possess. The legend of Atlantis is probably more than a legend in truth. Those super civilizations, rose, and fell thousands, if not millions of years ago, and the technology they possessed disappeared with them. We have maybe re-discovered some of it to this day, and with the crystal skulls, have a glimpse into what those civilizations were capable of.

 There is evidence that in 775 a fleet of ships carrying Roman soldiers landed on the coast of the Gulf of Mexico, and that they marched north until coming to a desert near present day Tucson Arizona. They (Romans), built a city there and the city flourished until 900 AD. For 125 years the romans fended off local indigenous peoples, until they were finally destroyed by them. Artifacts such as Roman coins and related items are occasionally found in the southwest deserts to this day. What happened to the city itself remains a mystery.

During the time of the Bronze Age, 3500 to 1200 BC, copper and tin were the most sought after metals. Ancient copper and tin mines have been found all over the Earth, especially in some of the coastal United States areas, predating even a lot of the Viking explorers claims about knowing of the ‘New World’. The one thing that about these mines that brings their attention to out of place artifacts, is the lack of mine tailings outside of the mines, and the smooth pocketed interior of the mines, as though intense heat of many thousands of degrees were used, so as to melt the metal ore out to forms to fill ingots, while leaving the rock of which it was imbedded in, in place.

Many metals that are unknown to modern day metallurgists are found in meteorites that make it all the way to Earth without burning up. Jim Bowie, the inventor of the Bowie knife is said to have found a meteorite and smelted the metal from it, and made his famous ‘Bowie Knife’ from it.

Samurai swords are made from the finest iron, chromium, and high carbon steel. However, it is reported that some of them are made from metal found in rocks that fell from space. In making a samurai sword, a priest / sword maker and his disciples smelt and fold and shape the blade many times. The priest while chanting, (Traditionally), puts hair, blood, a small piece of skin, and other things from the person for whom the blade is being made into the folds of the red hot sword being hammered out by his disciples. The disciples which are three of them, have three different sized hammers, each which are tuned to a certain harmonic. When the blade is being hammered while red hot, the disciples are pounding the blade into shape with a timed sequence of blows. It sounds like “Ting-Tang-Tong” repeatedly. Along with the priest’s chanting, and the hammer blows, the blade takes on a harmonic, which makes it extremely resilient. It is thought that the metal in the meteors are formed in a similar fashion, only by natural means instead of human. So, it is possible that sword makers in the past, reversed engineered the metal of the meteorites, and then used that knowledge of metal make up to forge their swords.

ALL THE CRAZY WAYS TO MEET YOUR MAKER:

All through history, many people have met their maker in not the normal manner that is usually prescribed, such as drowning, falling off cliffs, being shot, being eaten by their rotweiler, choking on food, getting run over, electrocuted, etc. Some of these are from the Darwin awards, others from tales of the untold, but all just not quite the average way to check out.



In 207 BC: Chrisippus a Greek philosopher was said to have died of laughter after getting his donkey drunk, and then watching it try to eat figs.

162 BC: a warrior by the name of Maccabeus, is said that, during a battle, to have attacked the underside of an elephant he thought was carrying the king of the opposing side. He thrust his spear into the elephant’s belly, the animal died instantly and fell on him, crushing him to death. The rider of the elephant was a messenger from the opposing king with a message to call a truce.

1478: During the latter 1400’s noblemen in European countries it is rumored, when deposed, tried and sentenced to death for whatever crime they were accused of, were given a choice of being executed by the day's prescribed methods, or by being sealed in a barrel full of their favorite wine

1814: The London beer flood; Nine people were killed, some drowned, some from injuries, and one from alcohol poisoning, when 323,000 gallons of beer in a brewery all of a sudden exploded, and burst out of its vats and flooded the street outside of the establishment.

1919: The Boston molasses disaster; Twenty one people were killed and one hundred and fifty were injured when a tank containing 2,300,000 gallons of molasses exploded sending a wave traveling at an estimated speed of 35 miles an hour through a street in Boston Massachusetts

1930: Christmas eve, a young boy on a farm was sent out to get water in a bucket from the hand cranked outdoor pump which was located in a pump house fifty feet away from the farmhouse. He never made it, just after he went out the door; his family heard his screams and went running outside to see the bucket he was carrying on the ground halfway to the pump house. His footprints in the snow ended abruptly near the bucket. No other tracks were near his prints indicating that a wild animal might have seized him. After exhausting searches by many people, no trace was ever found of him.

What we know about the universe wouldn’t fill the proverbial thimble, knowledge wise.

GREAT HOAXES AND OTHER MISCHIEF:

The Cardiff Giant: The Cardiff Giant, was supposedly a ten foot tall petrified man who was found on a farm in New York on October 16th, 1869. The giant was carved from a huge block of  gypsum, and treated with various stains and acids to make the ‘giant’ seem weathered. Archeologist’s determined the giant to be a fake, but by this time such excitement had spread by word of mouth, that other giants began to appear in carnivals and other curio displays, and a lot of money was made from the public for the exhibitions.

The Jackalope: We’ve all seen the picture of the Jackalope, the rabbit with antlers, and all have gotten a chuckle or two out of it. Here is one scary thought to consider however … What if the Jackalope is a genetics experiment that escaped from some laboratory, and is possibly breeding out in the desert right now? How many other crypto zoological animals are out there doing the same? Chupacabra dare I say?

The Turk: The Turk, was a chess playing automaton that was displayed at fairs and festivals and the like, from 1770 till it’s destruction in by fire in 1854. It was purportedly a mechanical device that looked like a Turk from the waist up, and a chess board and cabinet below. It won just about every game it played against human contenders, and became world famous (the known world at that time). It was found out many years later that a chess master was secreted in the cabinet below and was the actual operator and player of the Turk.

PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE:

All of us to some degree use psychological warfare on others during our lifetimes, bluffing the bully that wants to beat you up after school, making the job interviewer believe that you are a wizard at the job you are applying for, convincing the unchained dog that is advancing on you with the intent of eating you that you will give it a frontal lobotomy with a tire iron if it does, and etc. We are also the receivers of psychological warfare from law enforcement, advertisers, stores, salesmen, movies, and numerous other applications. Psychological studies have shown that many bright flashes lasting nanoseconds following each other produces a sedating effect on the human mind. Television is a fine example of this venue. The next time you turn your TV on, instead of watching it, turn the sound down, sit with your back to it, and count the number of flashes you see on your wall for a whole minute. Do this especially during ‘Prime Time’ viewing; you may be shocked at how many flashes you see in a minute. Once a person is in this state of mind, they are open to all kinds of suggestions.

As a baby, we are aware of the impact of psychological warfare, if we want attention of some sort, the quickest way to get it is to scream, until the parent at wits end, fulfills your wishes. Later on as parents get the clue and ignore the brat, then the child has to think up new ways to get under the parents skin.

Later on in life, we learn that, instead of just coming up and asking for that ten dollar bill, or new bicycle, we use subtle tactics of programming our elders into thinking that they are doing themselves a favor by getting us these things.

Then, as adults, we fine tune these skills into malfeasant virtues that feather our own nests, while attempting to not only keep up with the Joneses, but outdo them if possible.

All the while we are doing this; the big corporations are continually using their brand of psychological warfare on us to get us to do the aforementioned activities which in turn feathers their nests. Eventually, people outsmart themselves, and it starts all over again from day one.

And, that is today’s lesson in ergonomics for those who really don’t care, and work for that cold beer or three at the end of the day.

BASIC MENTAL GAUCHE PRACTICES:

Gauche: Socially awkward, lacking grace, or tact in social situations.

Sometimes, it seems that people do things out in left field for no particular reason, or because it is beyond their control, and they react accordingly.

Like the guy at a beer party out in the woods, who sets his car stereo speakers with long wires connected to the stereo on his tailgate for tunes for the party. Then after the party breaks up, drives down the road, forgetting to put the speakers back in his car, and they are still playing music while bouncing on the road being drug along by his vehicle.

Or the lumberjack, who wanted to put a pulley up in a tree, but right where he wanted to put it, a huge yellowjacket bee’s nest was perched. He climbed the tree with a shotgun and blew the nest out of the tree. It took him the better part of a year to heal up from the 60 stings he received for his efforts, and the twenty foot fall he took after shooting the nest.

Then there was this family at a national park who had a buffalo, (American Bison), walk into their camp. The buffalo was bigger than their trailer, and the dad told his young boy to go pull its beard. After several warnings by other campers for the kid not to do that, the dad told everyone to mind their own business, the kid pulled the buffalo’s goatee. The enraged bison chased the kid and his dad all over the campground and into their trailer and rammed it a few times, and held them in there for at least a half hour till it wandered off. Nobody else in the campground made a move to chase the beast away.  I think they should have gotten an ‘Honorable Mention’ from the Darwin awards. You get an honorable mention when you don’t quite do yourself in. To get a Darwin award, means you succeeded in blaking yourself in some unique manner.

The number one cause of death in America is from Smoking: 435,000 annually.
#2. Alcohol and related occurrences: 130,000.
#3. Infectious diseases: 75,000.
#4. Toxic agents: 55,000.
#5. Traffic collisions: 43,000.
#6. Firearms deaths: 29,000, though this number is under controversy, many of the deaths are caused by use of a firearm for self defense, and crime prevention.
#7. STD’s: 29,000.
#8. Drug abuse: 17,000.

What these all have in common is that they are preventable, and therefore considered ‘gauche’.

THE ENVELOPE PLEASE:

Big questions are to be answered this year; will the world end on December 21st? Who is going to be the next president? How do they get the caramel into the caramilk bars?

So far, we are still here, with so much information constantly pounding us from all sides, it is hard to make a determination on what to believe. Believing in yourself is the first step into thinking clear thoughts. Having a plan is okay; having an objective will get you further. The way things change all the time, plans can be stymied, inventing your way through the change can see you to your objective.

As always, I make this disclaimer of the above vignettes, two fisted drinking tales, personal experiences, excerpts from the Darwin awards, and other written prose, that I am not the originator, nor purveyor of any of these sentences. No profit, racketeering, or any monies real or imagined are being made from posting this Fun Facts, Useless information#9 installment. I am merely passing on what I have read, encountered, and sometimes lived, for pure entertainment, and for something to put on Jazz’s blog. No Mugaatu’s, or Turkish personas were harmed during the writing of this post. Any and all replies can be torn up and burned in a campfire.

Have Fun. … KIP

 -KIP